1st April 2015

Alex Salmond to return as SNP Party leader

Following Alex Salmond’s “The Dream Shall Never Die” book signing event at the Stirling MacRobert on Tuesday night, it was exclusively revealed to Stirling SNP party officials that in the event of winning the Gordon Constituency seat at Westminster, Alex WILL return as party leader.

Alex Salmond Book cover

Alex Salmon’s book, The Dream Shall Never Die

“The current situation was always viewed as provisional” revealed Alex, ” I needed a few months off to get my Referendum Memoirs out, and it took me a wee bitty longer than I anticipated, ‘writers block’ is a terrible thing don’t you know. I never thought I would see the day I would be lost for words”

“Nicky ( she lets me call her that ), had Moira and I back for coffee on Saturday night, ( she does a wonderful Skinny Latte Machiatto you know, she has this machine…) and we decided what with the Tories spending so much on posters with my face on, it seemed such a shame not to let something they were saying about us, be true”

If Alex wins the seat of Gordon, he will resume as party leader, and Nicola will return to her former role as Deputy though remaining in place as First Minister. ” She wanted a bit more time to herself anyway revealed Alex, as she has ambitions to pass her driving test, the last disastrous attempt took her 75 lessons and  a year and a half in which she wrote off two Vauxhall Corsa’s.  She has some private track time arranged at Knockhill in June to get back in the driving seat ( if you will excuse the pun) and finally get this test passed.”

Alex also revealed he has a “Arnie” inspired range of  “I’ll be Back” casual tee shirts ( only in larger sizes) , to come out just before the election exclusively in England.

“They don’t like it up them he said”.